Pet Insurance

Received a phone call from a pet insurance company this morning, Millie's four week trial of medical insurance ended today,

-"Good morning Mr. Morton."

"Hello."

-"I am calling to see if you would like to further insure your pet, ummmm Daisy, for our special introductory price of £98.07 for the year, which will cover worming repeats, accidents and subsequent medical costs up to £15,000."

"I don't think Daisy would appreciate me spending £98.07 for the experience of being de - wormed."

-"Mr. Morton, worms can lead to all sorts of complications in the adult female."

"Daisy thinks worms are a good thing actually, for the compost bin."

Pause.

-"Mr. Morton, could I speak to ummmm Mildred please? I think I could better impart the importance of insurance to your partner."

"Ok, but Millie is currently washing her genitals with her tongue by the fire; I tend to let her get on with it."

Pause.

-"Your partner washes herself by the fire like that?"

"No, Millie is my cat. But you can talk to her if you want, just as soon as she has released her tongue from her bottom."