Friday, 22 April 2016

Milton Keynes, face value....

Come bombs,
Fall on Milton Keynes,
We've had enough of spending schemes,
Of Bar Ones, iPhone shops and Maccy Ds,
A place rife with a consumer's disease,

Come nukes,

Tear it to shreds
Break the concrete spires from their beds,
Shatter the glass fronted automatic doors,
Splinter apart the eyebrow weaving stalls.
This piped music, make it stop,
Unplug the band locked in a box,
Locked in a room, locked in a trance,
Playing free will's funereal dance,
Come missiles,
Target the shops,
Make the produce burn in rented slots,
Destroy the vapid altar's capitalist call,
'Two for one' on your very soul,
Set it ablaze, burn it into the night,
So all can see how again we might
Reclaim this plot for decent folk,
Out from under the pound's yoke.
(My hands are bloodied from pounding
On grey walls,
Did you notice Milton Keynes?)
~

Monday, 28 March 2016

Oh Lymphadenopathy ~

Oh Lymphadenopathy,
Why are you ontop of me?
Not on top in physicality,
But under the neck intolerably.
There was some penicillin for me,
To combat you Lymphadenopathy,
But I have run out of the things completely,
And now am dangerously self medicatory.
I feel like a golf ball makes up my anatomy,
My neck twice the size it ought to be,
Swallowing is an agony to me,
A cramping fire of crampery ~
I hope you get made extinctery!
Cured from the annals of medical history,
A distant unpleasant memory,
To exhausted and suffering people like me.
So screw you Lymphadenopathy,
A stupid name that hinders me,
Not a simple word are you Lymphadenopathy?
One that requires 'control' and 'v'.
~

Sunday, 3 January 2016

The Ickney ~


We came to the Heath
Hand wrapped and numb
Beat,
Waiting through water for
The offering;
A pardon given for my ignorance,
Ours for the fire let only inside,
And waited in the Circle.
To the north a hearty salutation
No less the east, west and south,
A green air waiting with pulse
As hammers,
I had never felt to close my eyes,
The spoken void now seen to me,
All time waiting in the turn of a head,
The horse stepped out from the reign,
The dead present too like sentinel trees bowing silver silent in the half gloom,
My girl muttering the invocation in
A daze and there the horse rode our hearts towards the Circle.
Ten hands tall and bone, he looked at me, chose me to not choose,
And strode like a fighter from the dead ground we had opened.
Opened he was challenged, with virtues spoken,
beaten back to bless the year in defeat,
By green bough shining hopeful and the year to come growing
From our shaking feet.
~

Saturday, 2 January 2016

The Blacksmith Who Chased The Moon ~ Stuff of Dreams Theatre Review

The New Cut at Halesworth is a modern and spacious venue that is currently housing 'Stuff of Dreams' Christmas show, 'The Blacksmith who Chased the Moon'. Adapted from 'The Night Before Christmas' by Gogol and placed in Suffolk, Stuff of Dreams merge classic story telling with contemporary references to create a delightful and detailed theatre piece, with a strong cast working together. The emphasis is on ingenious stagecraft. Fight sequences are vivid circus moves, journeys across the moonless landscape take place with mime and decisive characteristics, sound effects are simple guitar strums. I was delighted also with the synergy of the costumes, which were very beautiful and exciting. The set was unobtrusive and effective, allowing the focus to fall on the action. There are notable performances, namely Thomas Wingfield as Fabian, the titular Blacksmith, whose moments of physical comedy are balanced well with pathos. Steve Peck as the Devil began slowly but quickly gained momentum as he tricks the characters and plays with the audience; Ben Elder as Darwin was commanding (including a very funny moment as a towns person) whilst Cicely Long was diverse and proficient in her roles: a warm friend and a very amusing wife. The cast came together well, with beautiful and sublime singing at the opening and closing of the play. Cordelia Spence's direction is fast and intricate, working with Anthony Cule's very expansive script. I felt that the diatribe could have afforded a tighten in places, but be in no doubt that it is a very accomplished adaptation to Gogol's famous tale. The pace is quick and well choreographed and you really never know what is next. One thing is sure, you will laugh out loud and leave the theatre feeling good. I was pleased that we weren't subjected to an empty popularist Christmas message. This is a company that cares deeply about their art and has the expertise to do that passion justice. 4/5 Performing 2nd/3rd January 2016 The New Cut Halesworth

Tuesday, 30 December 2014

brushstroke ~

2014 has been a year that has seen me create and sustain thus far a successful theatre enterprise with my partner and friends; Strange Fascination has become quickly a greater success than I hoped to imagine. We are well received and approached to bring our unique shows to many venues throughout the region in 2015, we are respected, we are well in profit. Not many can claim as much.

However, I still pursued my acting career independent of these plans and found myself wanting. Living as I do with depression, I am often hard pressed to bring into effect those techniques and principles so heavily studied during my near two years of alcohol rehabilitation. My environment was not supportive of artist credibility, nor was it a place where one could work well as I had found with our own company, where collaboration, mutual respect and friendship were key. I became despondent, upset. Ignored artistically and made to feel isolated, I left that arena as a wholly disgruntled professional and look forward to more like minded collaborations in the future.

As 2014 draws to a close, we are happy and secure after some fortunate financial occurrences and are booked well into next year with SF. We have a holiday to Peru booked for March. Daisy is designing for our next show, 'Secrets' which I am busy writing. My January is spent in my home town doing cooperate work, a very good earner indeed. I'm looking forward to that. A chance to not only earn money for the start of the new year (as theatre creatures, I'm sure you appreciate the need to secure finances often) but a chance to revisit the hometown to put demons to rest. Whatever that means.

2015 hopes to be a year where our theatre company expands further and with Paul's excellent financial savvy, Daisy's ingenious creative talent and my, well, my prop collection (!!!!) we aim to increase our yield both fiscally and artistically. We might not be quite ready for the National, but I see it happening. Why not? We are motivated by good work, by people who work well with us; good people attract good people.

So, a brief summation of a year spent and hopes for the year to come. A year where I surprised myself in many ways and grew further as an artist and an advocate of speaking one's mind, if indeed there is occasion and need to speak it.

Happy New Year!

Simon

Monday, 26 May 2014

New Millie Dreams ~

Woke up from dreams of being the 6th Beatle that no one ever says, 'oh, he was so nearly in the Fab Four...' to find Millie nowhere to be seen. She wasn't in the Oliver Reed lounge or asleep on the wicker hammock. Concerned, I called down to the temporary groundsman, Bernay, who believes he is the human embodiment of pi,
"Have you seen Millie this morning?"
"3.14159265358979"
"Thanks"
Leaving Daisy tied up, I decided to search the grounds of Barton House in order to locate my cat. It was a fine morning, the flamingoes were up early, practising their close harmony singing and the parachutist was swaying gently in the soft breeze, preparing a simple repast of coffee and salmon on toast, which was a new diet his doctor had suggested.
In the distance the US 8th Army moved across the horizon, it's columns stretching as far as the eye could see. Wearied from battle but triumphant; Japan was defeated without bloodshed or atom bombs, but with the largest military tiddlywinks engagement man had ever seen. Tempers no doubt had been high. Thumbs were sore.
As I approached the summer house, I heard the dulcet sounds of many string instruments being plucked and moved in unison, the resulting air shimmered with a delicate balance of sounds; a careful structure that delighted and amazed in it's precision and inventiveness. Intrigued, I carefully eased the door further open and peeked in. There, beyond a table of teapots and buttered toast was Millie and a host of local cats, gently practising their newest composition, claws deftly extended to tease the most profound of sounds from their instruments.
Tiptoeing in, I sat in a chair to listen and watch, pouring a cup of tea and flicking a kibble off a slice of toast.
In the distance the sound was picked up by a US signalman and mistaken for a Japanese counter attack.
Like ·  · 

Monday, 5 May 2014

The Neighbour poems

Oh, Mr. Strimmer Man
Oh, Mr. Strimmer Man, have you considered,
How your mechanized whippings might be delivered,
To the ears of those restfully still in slumber,
Or trying to get their heads awake and into order,
I know your path is unruly and overgrown,
But Mr. Strimmer man you are alone,
In thinking such activity is in anyway community,
As we have yet to reach the time of seven thirty,
Please, Mr. Strimmer man, have a heart and turn off
Your strimming apparatus and make it stop,
My head is alive with the sound of a million bees,
And I feel the vibrations into my knees,
Just an hour’s more kip would be so welcome,
Not the sound of your landscaping indiscretion,
So please, Mr. Strimmer man, go and have some brekkie,
That path will still be there considering it’s pebbly.


(2 hours later)
Oh, Mr. Mower man
Oh, Mr. Strimmer man, you’ve now advanced to mowing,
How fast do you think the grass in your garden is growing?
You’ve been at it for three hours and no sign of respite,
I can only assume you are trimming the very air and sunlight,
As it is a tiny lawn that is smaller than your house,
Perhaps you like the sound the mower makes drowning out your spouse.
I should be thankful though, you are stopping me from dozing,
I was up till three am on editing so I should continue working,
I should be thankful too that as I peeked out the curtain,
You are fully attired this time with more than just a shirt on.

Tuesday, 8 April 2014

Willow

We had planted the willow,
The October day throwing light -
Even the winter was softened;

But still it failed, had not
Taken a hold, hardy as it was,
It rotted over the months -

So that spring was met with
This failure of ours
Amidst blossom falling like
Belated snow or condolence;

We had wanted it, could not afford
Anything other, this idea to live
By our own means -

This failing then, is in the timing
Of things and success our grass root
To never break a hold.

Monday, 10 February 2014

Anthology cover ~

Proposed cover for anthology ~

more Millie

My faux Edwardian occasional table. Destroyed by Millie ~

STORM!

Storm is on it's way!!! Batten down the hatches!! Stock up on tinned meats!! Paint a large SOS on all people left outside! Hammer large pieces of crooked wood across the windows!! Put the cat in the breadbin!! Burn all the incriminating documents!! Shoot all deserters!! Make litres of pasta sauce!! Dig holes and put things in them!! Sit around trying to tune a radio!! Find a rifle in the attic!! Light fires to stay alive!! Listen to 'Two Tribes' by 'Frankie Goes to Hollywood' on 12 inch for full instructions! Chinese burn all the squirrels! Smash up furniture to make a raft!! Ration your cigarettes!! Eat all the biscuits!

Card Fraud

I have been made the victim of credit card fraud! An attempt to use my details to top up £10 of O2 credit plus, £4 to a floor covering firm in the United States. The operator indicated that perhaps, this wasn't behaviour that was too out of the ordinary, and that I might be interested in taking advantage of the reduced prices available in North America,

"To see the U.S is an ambition of mine" I began, "I hardly think I'd jet over to the New World, land of Faulkner and Hawthorne, Meville and Poe, to acquire new tiles for my bathroom"

"There's no need to be sarcastic Mr. Morgan" she replied, "I re-floored my beach hut in Yarmouth from an online discount textiles company in Michigan"

"So what would £4 get me there?" I asked,

"Our records show that the transaction was attempted in the cafe area of the store. It appears that the person tried to buy a burrito"

I paused,

"What kind of burrito?" I asked,

"I'm afraid our system isn't able to determine such detail Mr. Morgan."

more Millie

Last night we unwittingly locked Millie in the studio. Her routine of running around, purting at things and attacking objects has been thrown out of sync. She is currently investigating the various empty boxes I left out for her last night, before launching herself full gallop at the towels hanging over the banister.

Cherry Tree House


Cherry Tree House, should the reader ever happen to look beyond the Church of All Saints, behind the graveyard where it stands, is a hostel for people who, by illness or hardship, have found themselves without home and forced, therefore, to seek its refuge from the streets of Norwich. It is a moderately modern building, with a few rooms that serve the purpose of immediate remedy away from the cold October winds. Immediate only if the various agencies visited, the appropriate referrals procured and the never ending stream of papers signed and counter-signed. A tedious process that often takes many weeks of waiting; waiting in doorways and through hard nights, after the doors of the charities had to close. 

It was to this hostel that Matthew Arnold had finally found himself, after many weeks of distress and begging appearances at official buildings filled with interviews to determine his needs. All the while, the cruel night waited, the weather quickly plunging to a more than inclement autumn. He was alone in the world and had nothing, save a backpack of some belongings, clothes and books that had also served as his movable pillow. He clung to it as he waited for his knock to be answered. He had been on the streets for many nights now and was thankful of his numbed memory.
The nights were difficult and had produced in him an instinctive method of survival and the ability to sleep anywhere. He had quickly adapted to rummaging in bins and stooping for cigarette ends, anything in fact that could alleviate his discomfort. Mostly anything.
The prospect of a room, a solid roof and a bed seemed to him like winning a lottery and he was happy, happier than he had ever known in his thirty four years. A light came on in the hallway and Matthew was met by a large smiling man whose thick brown hair swept back from his forehead as a gust of cold wind rushed past him through the open door. The light was warm as was the beaming bearded face of this man,
“Ah, excellent, you must be Mr. Arnold? My name is Tom” and a large hand extended to shake Matthew’s firmly. The grip was strong yet, Matthew noted, the texture of the man’s hand had a weakness to it, like charred paper,
“ I will be your point of contact. I should think you are hungry and tired. After your supper I will take you to your room where you can rest. Tomorrow, tomorrow we will have much to discuss”. He led Matthew into a dining area,where he brought a small bowl of soup and bread. With the sustenance, Tom also brought a large bundle of papers,
“ Just red tape, I’m afraid. I can’t let you have the key to the room unless you fill out these forms, just to prove you exist...” Tom flashed a smile and Matthew glimpsed small teeth that may have been pointed but for the light in the room.
Led by Tom to a room on the top floor, Matthew took the key and entered,
“ We’ll soon have you re-housed, re- habilitated and re- introduced into society” Tom said and flashed his smile again. When Matthew closed the door to the pallid room, the silence was total. But the bed was as inviting as warm water over cold hands and he crawled into its heavenly sheets before sleeping quickly.
The moon was high and clear. Not an owl stirred and Matthew may have slept the night through. But as is the case of poor old Homo sapiens, especially in circumstances that are new to an old routine, his body woke him, expecting the hard stone of a street and the chill in his bones. His limbs ached from those trying nights and he found it difficult to regain a sleep. He rolled a small cigarette, leaning out of the window. As he perched there, slowly exhaling thin tendrils of smoke in the clear air, he looked across the garden to the tumble of gravestones, mute, cold, empty of feature save the stark crosses against a sky and the hulk of the dead church, beyond.
The very night was as still as if holding a breath. 
The only sound was the small crackle of the paper burning under his lips. As he looked, he noticed a shape, a movement between the stones that came into view. It was a figure, in black, moving forward and as he smoked, the lines of his smoke blurred his vision as if the apparition was shrouded in a mist, walking through the stones. He strained his eyes against the dark and became certain it was a figure. Sometimes it walked as if drunk, holding onto the gravestones, other times in seemed to stumble and vanish between them, on all fours, by now crossing over the thicket of the old graves in the hostel garden.
“Hello?” Matthew called. The figure stopped and stooped over, heaving as if taking plunges of breath and spoke back, “Hello”. The voice was distant, echoed, a rasping breath of the final throes of a human screaming. It then fell to its knees and crawled in a most unnatural fashion, reaching its thin black arms before it, reached, pulling and coming towards the building, “Hello” it said again in it’d disjointed manner, limbs contorting, “Hello”, moving with a speed of sickening immediacy that caused Matthew to utter a small cry and retreat behind his window. On the wall outside, he heard the form slapping palms and foot soles against the brick, now at the back of the building, trying to gain purchase.
He rushed out of the room, downstairs to the dimly lit office, where Tom had his feet up,
“Outside, a person, a man, needs help! He, came towards me from the church, the graves, he...” Tom replaced his geniality, with that flash of a smile again.
“ Oh come now, there’s nothing to be afraid of, first night in a strange place. “ He led Matthew to the back door and for a moment, Matthew trusted the familiar genial smile as he opened it.
There, the form stood, a shrouded corpse of ripped grey and bone, arms reaching for Matthew,
“Hello” Tom said to the ghoul, reeking of the deepest pits of human confinement, and stood aside to let it in

Girlfriend Quotes

'When you mend something, it enriches the object' ~ Daisy Plackett

Well, you mended me.

Simon Morgan's Acting School

Simon Morgan's Acting School.

Hi everyone.

As an actor of over fifteen years experience, I'm often asked about how to go about this business of show. Well, I've decided to give you budding actors and thesps out there some insider tips on how I, an actor, manage to pull it off.

1. The script.

A script is not just a series of words strung together to make people think you're clever, no, it is the actor's tool. Many people have said that I'm the tool, but I'm not, I'm not a tool, the script is the tool, for honing one's character and bringing the play to life. Read it and try to remember the bits you highlighted.

2. The character.

In a play once, I had to play several characters, so I had to really think about what I was doing for each. We all want to be Indiana Jones sure, but sometimes we have to play Miss Marple. In order to make sure you are doing a different character each time, try having a different wig or a different pair of shoes. Maybe a broadsword or a miner's lamp. And try a different voice too, but be careful you are appropriate, a broad Glaswegian accent is apparrently not at all suitable for Miss Marple.

3. The stage

I think it was Judi Dench who said, 'A stage is like a lover, broad, flat and well lit' ~ maybe not, but it's something she might have said. Get to know your stage, walk around on it before a show, test it for knee sliding potential and make sure that there aren't any nails that might inadvertantly tear your breeches during the last act of Hamlet, infront of a BBC Film crew.

4. Ad Libs

Ad libs or 'Additional Libbing' is quite hard to do correctly, so be forward thinking and write them down on your hand before a show, even using bits of the set to stick them so you don't forget. Trust me, your cast will thank you afterwards.

5. Other cast members

In a play, there are often other actors doing things onstage at the same time as you, so be aware of them and make sure you say your lines to them as much as possible. Also, in the dressing room afterwards, it's a good idea to get changed FULLY before you go up to the bar.

6. An Actor's Life

It's hard being an actor. Remembering lines of a play. Remembering people's names. Remembering all the birthdays.

To be a successful actor in the 21st Century requires a lot of guts, as there are thousands of people who would string you up like a halibut just to get an email saying that they might be lucky enough to one day eat in the same restaurant as a Casting Director. So you have to be better than the average actor on the tube, heading to the same audition as you. I try to keep fit, eat well, drink my own urine. But the best thing to do is learn a skill that gives you an edge. Juggling, lion taming, breathing napalm are all very fun to watch, but they have been done to be fair. We have ALL been to that audition, where the guy juggles a fire breathing lion, only to then see he hasn't got the gig before you; so what can you offer?

I often take selections of cupcakes to auditons as they are bitches to get right, they say baking is a science after all. Getting them light and fluffly requires skill. But try it yourself, and why stop at cupcakes? Try other foodstuffs. I had an acting chum who took some pasties with him once, and that went down quite well, as well as curries, pates and homemade preserves.

So, there is a quick introduction to the word of acting as I have found it. I hope it has proved insightful. Acting is always changing, we are always, as actors, on the game, so don't rest!

Learn those skills, eat up all you can, but most of all enjoy it, because if, like me, you didn't train in anything else, you'll be doing it for the rest of your life.

Grey Lung

Greylung, the hacking, spitting, drinking neighbour and his brood, have 'gotten rid' of their puppy. According to him, this three month old puppy was a 'terror' that 'ruined the house' and 'their lives' and so was 'sent back to where we got 'im', like he was a defective toaster.

Could it be your fucking lifestyles you ignorant fools? If you can't handle a puppy in your lives, what about those kids of yours that you are infecting with your smoking at all hours, your drinking in the morning and you in general, you stupid old tosser? Course, I didn't say any of this, I just held his eye and said, "Well, I really must get back inside, I'm not actually wearing any shoes"

man shaming

EDF

We hate EDF energy at Barton House; not only did we just pay a £450 bill to then get another £80 bill a day later, but they sent a brylcreemed minion to read our meter, who smelt of pickled onion crisps and didn't wipe his feet. Needless to say, I wasn't very nice to him,

"We just paid a bill."

"Yes, but it doesn't work like that, I'm just checking that you are paying what you owe us."

"We are switching providers soon, because EDF are too expensive."

(chuckles in that self assured way of a jobsworth) "Yes, good luck with that, who will you be switching to?"

"I don't know, my husband is dealing with it."

(Looks at me in my dressing gown holding a cat) "Your husband."

"My husband."

He left without another word.

Pet Insurance

Received a phone call from a pet insurance company this morning, Millie's four week trial of medical insurance ended today,

-"Good morning Mr. Morton."

"Hello."

-"I am calling to see if you would like to further insure your pet, ummmm Daisy, for our special introductory price of £98.07 for the year, which will cover worming repeats, accidents and subsequent medical costs up to £15,000."

"I don't think Daisy would appreciate me spending £98.07 for the experience of being de - wormed."

-"Mr. Morton, worms can lead to all sorts of complications in the adult female."

"Daisy thinks worms are a good thing actually, for the compost bin."

Pause.

-"Mr. Morton, could I speak to ummmm Mildred please? I think I could better impart the importance of insurance to your partner."

"Ok, but Millie is currently washing her genitals with her tongue by the fire; I tend to let her get on with it."

Pause.

-"Your partner washes herself by the fire like that?"

"No, Millie is my cat. But you can talk to her if you want, just as soon as she has released her tongue from her bottom."